🔗 Share this article

Looking back, we consider the television offerings of the past year, a handful of shows emerge not for their excellence, but for their spectacular failures. From cringe-inducing spin-offs to bafflingly bad docuseries, here are the programmes that had us utterly bewildered or simply reaching for the remote.

The 'Sex and the City' Sequel

How to start with this divisive follow-up? Burdened with dreadful scripts, cringe-inducing arcs (justice for Miranda!), and a paltry 71 seconds of beloved Samantha, the show struggled to find its footing. For a moment, as the third series started, it looked like it had at last hit its stride. Then came an episode centered on Seema’s natural deodorant. No wonder the creator declared this would be the final series. It ended on a bum note; the lingering shot of Miranda’s loo full of poo was simply too symbolic. Still, fans undeniably found joy picking apart every single “wtf?” episode. And as Carrie – a single woman once more – twirled around her palatial townhouse to Barry White, who didn’t let out a small sob?

The Kim Kardashian Drama

‘Is Kim Kardashian an actress? Of course she can’t.’

But that was almost the smallest of this drama's problems. The subject of a exceedingly uncommon zero star review, it was hard to know where to start enumerating the flaws. The hilariously leaden dialogue? The mind-numbing veneration of affluence and consumption? The seemingly wilful procession of cliches? Performances so poor they felt almost spiteful? Let’s just say “all of the above” and forget about this series again. Except, a second season has been ordered, so we’re probably going to have to.

The Charlie Sheen Documentary

Given the legal troubles, abuse claims and fatherly failures, it’s fair to say Charlie Sheen has been a bad boy. Not you’d really have gleaned it from this multi-part docuseries which chuckled along at Sheen’s various bouts of reckless hedonism while struggling to tell us a single thing we didn’t already know. Instead, it felt as if this loose cannon was being indulged, so any sympathy this series might induce should be saved for the people who have had to endure close contact with this charismatic but flippant egotist.

The Iris Affair

Of course we understood it was preposterous from the get-go: a thriller about a supercomputer known as Charlie Big Potatoes that could either solve global crises – or annihilate all of humanity. We stuck with it out of sheer admiration for its leads … but by the end, it felt like even they had stopped bothering. One barely cared when his character died, and the other ultimately hacking Charlie with an axe … in super slow-motion. Talk about admitting defeat.

MobLand

Dodgy characters meeting in deserted boxing gyms? A certain band's Firestarter blaring in club scenes? The late 90s called and demands its crime drama back.

Actually, that is harsh on the gangland dramas of the late 90s. Many seem a little dated now, but at least they didn’t endure the embarrassment of having to indulge unconvincing dialects. But there were plenty of other problems. Primarily that it was just really boring; a dispute over drug-selling territory between various London picaresques which seemed rather simplistic.

The Meghan Markle Series

Given the degree to which she grinds the gears of the nation’s ostentatiously angry commentators, it’s almost easy to admire the Duchess of Sussex’s various forays into twee lifestyle as deliberate statements. But then you view them and are forced to admit that in this case, they might have a point. It’s like watching a lifestyle magazine animated; a poster for wine o’clock with delusions of grandeur; a procession of sleeping dogs, buzzing beehives, sentimental sayings and forgettable crafting “tips” you’ll forget instantly. All supported by immense, largely undeserved wealth. Ugh.

Victoria Beckham

There are clearly fascinating things to be discussed about regarding Victoria Beckham and her journey with career, identity, self-worth. But for some reason, this three-part series chose not to say them. Instead, the viewing was akin to consuming a marketing catalogue. She clearly has every right to resent what she describes as her “stern” image. But unfortunately, she failed to do herself any helps with this guarded letdown of a series.

The Game Show

It should have been the next cultural phenomenon – except even camper, with a famous star as a deceased benefactor and a sharp-tongued personality overseeing her estate. What more could you want? As contestants battled it out, there was plenty of betrayal and arguing. But the rules quickly became bewildering: it’s still too confusing to explain what exactly was happening. Even more regrettably, we only saw glimpses of the star via prerecorded videos. The series ended up reeking of a programme that was trying way too hard to live up to something far greater than it.

Too Much

How does one succeed a show that defined a generation? The expectation was immense for this starry romcom about Jessica, a hopeful New Yorker who arrives in London with a shattered romance. The lead actress seized the opportunity by the horns and was joyous to watch, embodying Jane Austen levels of romantic ideals. But it was all very slick and, ironically, was not enough. Plus, the abundance of celebrity friends involved felt uncomfortable.

The Sketch Show Return

Not even good enough to be ‘patchy’.

Given the smart inclusion of gifted emerging comics, expectations were high. But unhappily, most of it didn’t land. A recurring sketch was a single joke milked to a husk but repeated in every episode. One star seemed too ready to slip into a familiar irate mode. The behind-the-scenes sketches, in contrast, simply provoked the thought that they should probably have remained in there a bit longer.

The Knox Dramatisation

This dramatisation of the story of Amanda Knox was overseen by Amanda Knox and pretty much solely presented the viewpoint of Amanda Knox. So, while there undoubtedly is an compelling drama to be made about the tragic 2007 murder, this isn’t it. The material needed to be handled with care. Instead, the series laboured awkwardly to find the right voice, lumbering from oddly jaunty, slightly mannered farce to ultimately, real-life horror. Twisted? Perhaps. A complete mess? Absolutely.

The Maths Genius Thriller

We love the star … but did we buy him playing the most brilliant maths genius in history, a man so smart he’s on the brink of a discovery that could destabilise society? Nope! This international thriller about secret services targeting – and eliminating – academics frankly got more farcical by the second. Formulaic nonsense.

1000 Men and Me: The Bonnie Blue Story

This uncritical portrait followed the online personality notorious for explicit escapades as she undertook her most extreme challenge yet. What on earth would possess her? What we craved was far greater examination of her actual psychology, plus those of the men in the queue. They could at least have interviewed the now-famous mum who showed up to haul her son out of the queue. What we got was horrific imagery and zero interrogation of her infamy whatsoever. And to think, the filmmaker has a young daughter too.