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At times, a 22-year-old from Los Angeles is convinced he is “the greatest person on planet Earth”. Having received an NPD diagnosis, his periods of extreme self-importance frequently escalate into “highly unrealistic”, he explains. You feel invincible and you think, ‘The world will recognize that I surpass everyone else … I’ll do great things for the world’.”

For Spring, these episodes of self-aggrandisement are typically followed by a “emotional downturn”, during which he feels sensitive and embarrassed about his behavior, leaving him highly sensitive to negative feedback from those around him. He came to wonder he might have narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) after investigating his behaviors through digital sources – and subsequently diagnosed by a professional. But, he is skeptical he would have accepted the diagnosis without having already reached that realization personally. “If you try to tell somebody that they have NPD, {they’ll probably deny it|denial is a common response|they’re likely to reject it,” he notes – most notably if they feel feelings of superiority. They inhabit a fantasy reality that they made for themselves. And within that framework, I am superior and {nobody can question me|no one should doubt me|my authority is absolute.”

Defining Narcissistic Personality Disorder

While people have been identified with narcissism for more than a century, definitions vary what people refer to as the label. People frequently term everybody a narcissist,” says an expert in narcissism, adding the word is “applied too broadly” – but when it comes to a professional assessment, he believes many people hide it, because of significant negative perception associated with the condition. An individual diagnosed will tend to have “an inflated view of oneself”, “a lack of empathy”, and “a tendency to exploit relationships to seek admiration through things like pursuing power,” the specialist clarifies. Those with NPD may be “deeply egotistical”, to the point that {“they’re not able to hold down stable relationships|“their jobs are damaged|“they have a distorted view of reality,” he states.

I’ve never cared about anyone really, so I’ve never taken relationships seriously

Variations by Gender in NPD Presentation

Though three-quarters of people identified as having NPD are men, findings suggests this statistic does not mean there are less female narcissism, but that narcissism in women is typically appears in the vulnerable narcissism type, which is less commonly diagnosed. Narcissistic traits in men tends to be somewhat tolerated, just kind of like everything in society,” says a 23-year-old who discusses her co-occurring conditions on social media. It is not uncommon, the two disorders are comorbid.

Personal Struggles

It’s hard for me with receiving negative comments and rejection,” she shares, whenever it’s suggested that I am at fault, I often enter self-protection or I completely shut down.” Despite having this response – which is known as “ego wounding”, she has been trying to overcome it and accept input from her loved ones, as she strives not to return into the negative conduct of her past. “I was very emotionally abusive to my partners during adolescence,” she admits. Via therapeutic interventions, she has been able to mitigate her NPD symptoms, and she says she and her current boyfriend “maintain an agreement where I’ve instructed him, ‘When I speak manipulatively, when I use toxic language, address it {right then and there|immediately|in the moment’.”

Her upbringing primarily in the care of her father and says she lacked supportive figures during development. I’ve had to teach myself continuously the difference between suitable or harmful to say when arguing because it wasn’t modeled for me as a kid,” she shares. “Nothing was off-limits when my household were criticizing me when I was growing up.”

Origins of Narcissistic Traits

Personality disorders tend to be connected with difficulties as a child. Genetics play a role,” explains a consultant psychiatrist. But, when someone develops narcissistic traits, it is often “tied to that individual’s particular early environment”. Those traits were “a coping mechanism in some ways to survive at a very early age”, he adds, when they may have been neglected, or only shown love that was based on meeting certain expectations. They then “continue to use those same mechanisms as adults”.

Similar to other of the those diagnosed, one individual thinks his parents “may be narcissists themselves”. The 38-year-old explains when he was a child, “everything was all about them and their work and their social life. So it was like, keep your distance.” When their focus was on him, it came in the form of “significant demands to achieve academic success and professional advancement, he notes, which made him feel that if he didn’t meet their standards, he wasn’t “acceptable.

In adulthood, none of his relationships ever worked out. I didn’t truly value about anyone really,” he admits. “So I’ve never taken relationships seriously.” He felt incapable of experiencing genuine affection, until he met his present significant other of three years, who is diagnosed with BPD, so, like him, struggles with mood stability. She is “really understanding of the internal struggles in my head”, he says – it was actually she who first suspected he might have NPD.

Pursuing Treatment

Following an appointment to his GP, he was directed to a mental health professional for an evaluation and was told his diagnosis. He has been recommended for talking therapy via government-funded care (ongoing counseling is the primary approach that has been demonstrated to benefit NPD patients, experts say), but has been on the patient queue for a year and a half: “They said it is probably going to be early next year.”

Disclosure was limited to a handful of people about his condition, because “prejudice is common that all narcissists are abusers”, but, personally, he has accepted it. This understanding allows me to understand myself better, which is always a good thing,” he comments. Each individual have come to terms with NPD and are looking for support for it – hence being willing to talk about it – which is likely not typical of all people with the disorder. But the existence of individuals sharing their stories and the development of digital groups point to {more narcissists|a growing number